Season 2, Episode 6: Losing It
Recap by Coops
Karen Betts is giving Bodybag a hard time about the Tessa Spall
cock-up. She tells her that she is to go on a fitness programme.
Hollamby moans about it to Fenner, "It's more like the Burma railway
than an English prison".
Zandra is seeing Dr NoNo again, apparently she has low blood pressure
and her eyesight is poor. She is gutted and tells Dominic that she won't
wear glasses. He is relieved that it's nothing serious. She says she's
given up drugs for him.
Nikki is still getting used to sharing a cell again. We find out that
Barbara Hunt helped her terminally-ill husband to die and got 3 years
for manslaughter. Fenner comes in and tells her not to worry about Wade,
she'll be moved soon. Barbara doesn't understand and Nikki tells her
that Fenner just hates her guts. Babs asks what Nikki's in for - and
Nikki says the same offence, but "for real" [I am confused here, as she
is a lifer i.e. Murder not manslaughter - life for manslaughter is
At breakfast, Dockley asks Nikki who goes on top, her or Babs. Nikki
walks away and Shell tells Barbara that Nikki is gay. Later, at evening
lockup, a worried Barbara watches in the mirror as Nikki undresses [we
get a full rear view, general consensus is nice bum but where did she
get that tan?!]. Barbara won't even wash in front of Nikki and is now
totally paranoid about her.
Josh is still wooing Crystal, and we find out that he has a house in
Acton (West London). She tells him that he can take her out to Kew
Gardens next month, and he offers her a place to stay when she comes
out. Couple of days later he gives her a gold crucifix.
Karen thanks Fenner for saving her from Tessa, and he says she should
get the medal not him. She is sceptical and he says "I'm not a complete
shit you know". [Yeah right Jim, we can see your halo from here.]
At the group therapy session, Zan says that she has given up drugs, and
mentions her personal officer. Meg tells her that she should do it for
herself. Shell complains that women are always doing stuff for men; and
goes on to describe her nightmares, about men coming into her room. She
is quite disturbed by reliving it. Later we see her suffering the
nightmare and waking up in a sweat.
Next day Julie J is looking out of the cell window and tells Julie S to
look; she fetches the others to see Bodybag running round the yard with
a fitness trainer. The girls are laughing then Zandra staggers clutching
her head – they tease her about having to wear glasses and she storms
After Barbara goes to see Fenner about Nikki, he comes by their cell and
gives Nikki a hard time, telling her to "keep her dykey fingers to
herself". Unsurprisingly, Nikki has a go at Barbara, suggesting she
might feel safer sharing a cell with Dockley, or a junkie. She finishes
with "even if I was available, I wouldn't touch you with a cattle prod."
The next group therapy session has already started when Shell turns up,
looking like Baby Spice on acid, or Bette Davis in "Whatever happened to
Baby Jane". The skirt is shorter than ever and the make-up is all over
the place. When Meg questions her she puts on a show; and Meg talks to
her 1 to 1 at the end. It is clear that she was sexually abused from a
young age. Meg tells Karen about her progress, saying that Shell is a
powder keg who could blow, and needs to be handled sympathetically.
At lockup, Dominic tries to get Shell to go into her cell, but she kicks
off at him, calling all the male screws perverts. Betts intervenes. In
the dorm, Zan sticks up for Dominic before clutching her head in pain
again. Karen says she might be able to get Shell her job back in the
kitchen. Shell says she could get a knife then and kill Fenner! Next day
the male officers continue to get a hard time from the girls, Betts says
it will pass. Bizarrely the girls are nice to Hollamby, saying they'd
rather have her in charge than a man *lol*.
Shell corners Barbara and tells her to get a marker pen from the art
room. "Do you want me to cut your tits off and make curry out of them?"
Terrified Babs does as she is told; Shell draws a moustache on her own
face, then makes Babs write "Fenner is a rapist" on a wall. She then
draws a stick man with an arrow pointing "right in the goolies". Nikki
comes past as Shell walks away.
Bodybag's seen the doctor and her neck is painful - too much exercise!
Karen puts her on light duties, supervising visiting. As soon as
Hollamby enters the visiting room, she's on the radio to Jim, telling
him to come and see. The lovely Helen is seating herself opposite a
delighted Nikki!! The officers look on in amazement.
"Wasn't sure you'd come."
"I said I would."
"Yeah, but it wasn't that long ago I thought I'd never
see you again. You still looking for work?"
"I've got one or two irons in the fire."
"I missed you Nikki."
"Since you left..."
"Well I'm here now."
"'Til you get bored of coming. Or 'til you meet someone else, like Trish
"Listen, you never know what's going to happen."
"Yeah right. Still got 9 years to do, remember?"
"I want to talk to you about that. I think you should appeal."
"I don't want to be getting my hopes up, just to have them dashed."
"Honestly Nikki, there's been a lot of cases a lot more serious than
yours that have had a successful appeal."
"Waste of time, innit?"
"Look, let me put it another way. Will you do it for me?"
"I'd do anything for you... you know that."
"Good. Well that's it settled."
[the bell rings and Hollamby calls time up]
"I'd better go."
"See you soon."
"Yes you will. Be good. And remember, we're going to make this work, I
When the graffiti is spotted, Betts goes to Shell, who claims that
Barbara did it and drew on her too. [notice how the moustache is dead
straight now, whereas it was all over the place in the corridor *lol*]
Karen goes to Barbara who confesses. Nikki returns from visiting and
tells Karen that Dockley did it. Barbara thanks Nikki, who says "I hate
Dockley more than I hate you, darling, that's all." Shell is taken down
Fenner finds Nikki playing pool and winds her up about reading a letter
from Helen. [thought she might hit him with the pool cue, but maybe
she's a new woman now *lol*] Later she realises it's a wind-up, but is
still worried he might intercept her mail. Barbara offers to receive
Helen's letters for her.
Betts talks to Shell in her office and finds out that her dad sexually
abused her. Her mum knew what was happening. Shell's kids are living
with her mum, and she starts worrying that they might be at risk. Karen
tells Fenner that she has decided to stop the therapy sessions and bring
Shell back on the wing. He gives her a newspaper cutting.
Nikki is in the library when Helen sneaks up on her.
"That's a bit heavy going for a no-hoper like you."
"What are you doing here?"
"One of those irons in the fire I was telling you about."
"You've got a job here?!"
"Prison Service professional."
"I'm working for area management, special programme for women lifers -
I'm back on your case - literally!"
Karen calls Hollamby in and shows her the newspaper cutting. It's of the
old Bodybag in a ballroom dancing competition!! She tells BB she doesn't
like liars and skivers; and extends the fitness programme to 3 months.
Best line of the evening: "If I see that neck brace again I'll rip it
off and stick it where the sun don't shine." *rofl*
Karen comes onto the wing, as Denny screams [very girlie for our Denny].
Shell is on the G2 landing dressed in a sheet with knotted tights round
her neck. "Come on Mr Fenner. Why don't you string me up like Rachel
Top Dog of the Week
Helen - it wasn't quite a "Morning Jim" entrance but she wins out for
returning more gorgeous than ever and bringing a huge grin to our
Nikki's face; especially for the flirty giggling in the library *swoon*.
Twatting Twat of the week
Bodybag - not only does she have no taste in tracksuits, she gets
stitched up by Fenner with that newspaper cutting. And she thought he
was a mate - sucker! Although do we really believe that the dumpy
waddling dwarf is a ballroom dancer who could give Angela Rippon a run
for her money?
Weedy Pigeon of the week
Shell - veering wildly between normal psychotic behaviour ("Do you want
me to cut your tits off and make curry out of them?"), and disturbingly
recalling her abusive childhood.
Spin Doctor of the week
Fenner - first he saved Karen from Tessa Spall; now he's happy to drop
Hollamby in it. Is he trying to get back in Karen's good books?
Worst Girl of the week
Barbara for freaking when discovering Nikki is gay; although she redeems
herself by offering to receive Helen's letters.
Best Line of the week
Karen: If I see you in that neck brace again I'll rip it off and
stick it where the sun don't shine. [*cheer* from the crowd]
Zan: She's wearing this tiny little skirt, practically frigging
Hollamby: That group therapy's deranged her.
Karen: She was deranged a long time ago.
Worst line of the week
Fenner: I'm not a complete shit you know. [yeah right, we can see
your halo from here]
Denny's girlie scream. Please, you're meant to be a butch dyke, love.
Warring faction of the week
Good Shell and Bad Shell - the war of the psyche - or should that be
Sight of the week
Nikki - need we say more? OK then, nice bum, but where did she get that
Shell doing that thing with her tongue when she tells Babs that Nikki is
Shell in her "Baby Spice on acid" or "Dawn French doing Bette Davis as
Baby Jane" outfit.
Bodybag in that shell suit.
Larkhall Miracles & Mysteries
Shell's amazing pen moustache, between her drawing it and then showing
it to Betts in her cell, it got an awful lot neater.
Nikki's taken up smoking again - first time this series. She'll notice
the reduced money from Enhanced now. And she tells Barbara that she's in
for manslaughter - but she's a lifer, which equals murder, not
manslaughter. When does anyone get life for manslaughter...never. Or was
it a clever play on words... man / slaughter i.e. I killed a man... if
so, that English degree course is going to her head.
Nikki's dodgy hygiene practices. Please wash your hands after using the
What happened to Tessa Spall? Has she been shipped out or just returned
to children's TV?
The girls sucking up to Hollamby - hello? Julie J? She hauled your kids
Still no hint of a "twat" from Zandra... she *must* be ill.
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